Dating / Mary Carmichael

The only thing worse than a DFMO

(is an unwanted DFMO)

Dear diary,

This one’s short. And thank god it is.

I was at the bar the other week and ran into my friend from work. The one I went to school with and have hooked up with before. Very unsurprisingly, he was really drunk and had to leave so he left me talking to his roommate, a guy who also worked at our company who I had met multiple times.

“What’s your name again?”

“Mary. I work at your company.”

“Oh yeah.”

We talked for a little but didn’t have much to say. I was about to go try and find my friends. But then I was bumped from behind and I fell into the roommate. I turned around and saw a couple very aggressively making out against the railing. They hadn’t even noticed they had bumped me.

I looked back at the roommate in a “jeez, can you believe them way.”

“I think we should one up them.”

It was loud in here. Surely I had misheard him. “What?”

“We should one up them,” he said louder this time.

I can’t imagine what my face looked like in that moment. “Hah I’m actually going to go find my friends.”

He stopped me. “At least a kiss, come on.”

“No I’m going to find my friends.” I turned to leave.

“Wow. That’s never happened to me before.” No offense roommate, but you’re not exactly Prince Charming and I find that quite hard to believe.

I kept walking.

Saw him at work the next week and politely waved. He pretended he didn’t know me.


Mary Carmichael

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